‘Below Deck Sailing Yacht’ Season 3, Episode 7 Recap

We are back on board Parsifal III under the guidance of our fearless, gentle and patient captain, Glenn Shephard, who is doing his best to keep the ship from crashing and burning – literally. A sailing superyacht isn’t a motorboat (a floating hotel), and Daisy, Gary and Colin are back to raise this season’s waddling ducklings: Gabriela, Ashley, Kelsie and Tom — may his memory be a blessing (we’ll get into that later).

To recap the last six episodes: everyone’s favorite Lothario, Gary, has already kissed three of the four women on board; Chef Marcos literally gets scalped by the boat; infamous guest Erica Rose returns with her man-child of a husband, Chuck (and only leaves a $6,500 tip); and we learn that Kelsie is flossing her hair. Plus, Daisy is absolutely #girlbossing.

It’s been relatively smooth sailing (sorry) so far, but our beloved yachts have decided to serve us a full meal as we approach mid-season. The simmering tension between Ashley and Gabriela – which began with passive aggression in the corners of the hospital – is finally boiling over, love triangles turn into love quadrangles, jobs are in jeopardy and even laid-back chef Marcos dips its toe in the drama.

After Tom from the North of England (not to be confused with Zac Efron) dragged the anchor (speaking of earthlings: a major fucking problem that could have resulted in a shipwreck!), Captain Glenn didn’t no choice but to send him packing. At the top of the episode, Tom mutters, “I think Glenn’s gonna fire me,” and, baby, he’s right! Seeing the cool and likeable Captain Glenn get flustered — that is, calmly telling a crewman on the phone, “I’m looking for a deckhand, and I need someone real soon” — is simply shocking and signifies how serious Tom is. error. This is Captain Glenn we’re talking about! He’s a man of the people who shares a room with ordinary sailors! He tolerated Tom’s drunken vomit session just a few weeks ago, but it seems a line has finally been drawn – and the line is Tom potentially wrecking the boat and ending the season.

Before Tom is canned, he chats with Gary to try to get an idea of ​​where the big boss’s head is. All Gary has to say is that the problem is above his pay grade. He’s your first mate, not your best mate, Tommy boy! Gary may be our favorite playboy, but it’s important to remember that he’s really, really good at his job. Instead of spending the morning proving himself to the Captain, Tom lounges around and says things like “I’ve been into it” about Ashley. Captain Glenn is livid (slightly agitated) and calls Tom to the mess the next morning to let him go, informing him that a tender will win him within the hour.

I want to reiterate how hard it is to get kicked off this show. Tom had a job on his night shift: anchor-watch, and he failed at it, risking the safety of the superyacht and the lives of everyone on board. This, in addition to the long list of minor mistakes he has made this season? He went out !

Side note: I feel for Captain Glenn, who only wants to sail the seas and give guests a good time, not flex on a sailor or fire someone mid-season. But here we are.

Like the greatest professional he is, Captain Glenn immediately calls the department heads in the wheelhouse to relay the news and informs Colin that he will be doing double duty until a new deckhand joins the team. Tom offers a final apology to Ashley – who moments earlier was talking shit with Gabriela (“That’s why he fucking needs to go”) – telling her in the laundry room: “All I I never said it wasn’t me; it was just me on the booze. I didn’t mean it. LOL okay. Can he take responsibility for anything? Maybe it’s for that’s why Ashley doesn’t date guys her own age… Anyway, she, with the seriousness of a real housewife, tells him, “I know, I know,” before admitting that while she will miss him, his shooting is “probably the best thing”. Very hard, Tai! They hug, she continues to iron, then Tom hops on the dinghy in a pair of jorts and Oakleys, sailing away from Sailing ship for real.

Let’s take a moment to remember Tom and the lesson he learned: “never have sex with the woman (Ashley) who wants to have sex with your boss (Gary).” Time over! Well done, my friend!

Tom’s absence means the crew is short-handed, but more importantly, it means there’s a change in the connection dynamic on board – and more competition for Gary. With Tom gone, Ashley is left with only one option: Gary, whom she kissed the first night before beginning a romance with Tom. Also recall that Gary and Daisy had sex in a drunken hot tub, which Daisy denies despite cameras capturing the moment in all its tequila-soaked glory. In the final scene of this episode, the pair go at it during the crew’s waking hours (so boring and obviously coded for excitement), so I suspect this enemies-to-lovers arc will come full circle soon. . Meanwhile, Gabriela also has her sights set on Gary: Last week she jumped into bed and apparently touched “his pee”. As stews one and two fight over Gary, Kelsie confides in Ashley that she’s hoping she can get in on the action with the new deckhand and, honestly, I’m ready for her to get hot and heavy with someone. a. I want to see Kelsie’s weird flag flying! Hair wire in the bedroom? This is extremely Robert Pattinson shit.

Guests on this charter, Colorado businessman Jim Blumenthal & Co., are uncomfortably horny like a middle-aged couple on vacation and spout a stream of kinky jokes. It’s not inappropriate — unlike Gabriela’s interaction with lead guest McCordia Young in the season premiere — but it’s weird. They make shocking jokes, say they’ll take a band with Marcos, make topless-tapas pun intended, and enthusiastically agree with Colin who calls Big Jim “the most excited man” you’ll ever meet. Big Jim has my doubts – who gets up at 6 a.m. to enjoy the sunrise while on vacation?

They also came up with the deranged request for a talent show featuring the crew (that poor understaffed crew!), which comes as no surprise after Ken, one of the guests, showed up. in the evening at his dinner party in a full matador costume. Daisy voices what we’re all thinking in a confessional: “It’s frustrating when we get asked for requests like a talent show because I don’t have time to think about a fucking talent. Pretty much the only thing I’m good at is sunbathing and drinking margaritas. Colin also sneaks in a jab while introducing the crew: “Believe it or not, we all have full-time jobs, so it was a very difficult task to put together.” Will this mini guilt trip yield a bigger tip? Only time (and skill) will tell…

Daisy and Gabriela perform a little salsa number, Captain Glenn cracks a dirty joke, Marcos spins a platter (besides making them a whole “seafood palooza”), Kelsie and Ashley do some sort of hoedown dance (? ), Colin sings an original song with lyrics dedicated to each charter guest, and Gary “the Lady-Killer” King officially enters his magic mike era and gives Big Jim a lap dance. We still don’t know how lucrative Gary’s striptease is – the tip is coming next week – but if the episode title, “Strip for the Tip”, means anything, I expect it. that these guests pay.

• The guests decide that “Chad” is the male version of “Karen”, with “Kevin” as a close competitor.

• Tom, spraying himself with eau de cologne as he leaves: “Come in smelling good, go out smelling good.

• Guest Ken: “This is the most sophisticated navigation control I’ve ever seen.” Guest Jim: “Have you seen Chris’ vibrator?”

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